Surges

When have I actually referred to something as what the actually mean?

Are you in love?

She asks! Is my love so feeble that you have to ask if I do or do not? Or are you are so self obsessed that all you care about is if people care for you? You are the most selfish and self centered person I have seen, yet you manage to convince people that you are caring and the most caring person on earth!  The deepest of oceans are not as deep as the way you think and play around with people’s emotion!

You are addiction, it’s harmful yet can’t leave it; can’t have it!

The things between me and her are so fucking awkward and weird and are like the electrical surges they are smooth and all the things are in place working just fine….AND BAAAAAAM! Blows right in the face and everythings blows off…..she

How many minutes days or hours can you stay without electricity? No matter how it’s… abrupt direct, indirect and once in a while it surges and puts everything out of order we restore a fuse or two and it’s back.

I know we need surge protectors, in my case I feel it’s a time bomb which is ticking, which needs to be diffused. Sexual tension increases to an unbearable point I feel that sometimes! Where we just want to bare it all and just then we shall be set right! I do not have the balls to take a step towards it and I have no shame in accepting that!
As a third person’e perspective she has slept with at least more than two men that i know of! She should take a step as I am a newbie to this side of life, provided she is the one who is two timing she should know her level of guilts I do not want another guy suffering cos of my horniness. (cruel words? Well that’s how the third person sees it as, won’t consider my give ups,my decency,my tolerance and ….. thats how the world is and it’s the only place habitable sadly)

We act like we are here meant for each other for rest of the life, we are the perfect pieces of the puzzle called life and then suddenly we fee like killing each other!

What is this? Why is this? Every passing minute i hope what I have with you isn’t true love and true love is much more deeper sweeter and happier than this! Something beautiful….

Something so beautiful that I will not see around for “options” I’d be lying if I said physically attractiveness is the least of my botherations! they are the primary ones and added to it I would want someone who is true to me as I am to you and a little less manipulative someone who does not fake things…. OMG OMG OMG

I was writing or attempting to write a closure to this post but i had to cut in between cos i had over flow of description mainly against you bitch. Does this confirm I am not in love? I am looking for a sexual relationship? A fling perhaps? Friends with benefits?

I am not ashamed of any of the thoughts which i have put up there as I have been under your influence and all these thoughts and thinking process is inherited from you! I am the proud i have had you as a part of my life…. would be lying if I said happy few habits die hard and the ability to not lie wouldn’t die in me I hope……

I am in love with myself! I am self obsessed….