Feelings

So I have come to the sad side mine more faster than expected…. Sad I am yes, sad I am that I did not let people know how I felt about them, How much I cared for them and how much more did I deserve to be treated in a better way than I do!

Feelings are like an ocean or a sea, no matter how much you express it always seems way too less……

Worst feeling ever!

This is something none of you should go through, I really hope none on earth should, the moment you do it’s all doomed! It’s very tough to come out of it, it might be impossible I’m half way out of it and yes you got it right I’m only half way out, read the rest of my views on life and my situations you shall know how I do it!

So have you told the one whom you hate to your gutts as to why or how much do you care for that person? If not that hate is inappropriate reaction to the unlikely situation which you created by over thinking…..

Love might be the sweetest feeling on earth… It isn’t the best one though! Hate is, fear is, revenge is…! All are the dark sides of our human nature as they say, but if channelized they can be the best horses and certainly the winning one’s on the turf!

Turf called life having a million spectators, buzzing for every failure cheering for none as they spectators lose no matter you lose or win! You need to be on the turf, you need to be the jockey, you need to be the horse and make sure it’s your turf and you bet on yourself.

No one’s for anyone out there, all are out on themselves for themselves, if you think other wise you are making a mistake I am sure! All this while I on with the blinders trying to be there for everyone and thinking this focus will help me, take the blinders off and all you know it’s a dog fight even on the bloody lush green turf! There’s no true love there are no true feelings only thing true is truth and the truth is happiness is the ultimate goal! All want to be happier all are greedy and there you go the another dark side of ours….

They aren’t dark for me, if I have to survive through the wreck I am in and excel and be the one with potential and aim at the highest possible dreams, I need to get on….

I see the whole set of incidents as lashes of whip which might prove to be the reason for my win.

Only time will tell….

 

Inflict-ations!

Imagine you wake up on a noon and see darkness everywhere,thunders rumbling,rains pattering against the plain window shades as meaningless as your life gets,destruction everywhere…..

I go through this feeling every day, every single day a storm comes hits me and goes away, while i just calm the storm inside me i tame it until it subdues, i hurt myself but i tame it! Making sure i don’t take others down while i myself have been pushed down….

A single NO, a single YES, an ignorance for a few moments, i have reached an island where there is no hope left to live! I survive on daily basis i dunno if there is a tomorrow, if ever there will be a sunshine, if at all there will be someone to rescue me….

I’m getting  black by the day and darker through the nights….

All of this, all of these aren’t actions or feelings of my own! These are reflections, these are ripples of a stone someone throws,i inflict someone else’s feelings like they are of my own!

Brave i am not like people think i am,i do not reveal who i am on a few kilobytes how would they want me to reveal myself in an open real world! World is not for,it’s for the brave, the harsh the selfish soulless creatures,i sometimes wonder have i become one!

Here, i am again watching the windows panes washed down, watching my every move, questioning each of it and asking myself…

If this isn’t love what is…..